Ahh, the celebrity autobiography. Since the dawn of cave paintings, famous men and women have been scrawling out the stories of their lives for all to see, the idea being that they’ll reveal some of their essence to us, so that we as a culture can bathe in the sweet, sweet nectar of their awesomeness. The problem is that, despite classics like Miles Davis’ and Andre Agassi’s, most celebrity autobiographies are complete pieces of shit. In all honesty, most of them would work better as cave paintings. Even worse, many of the best celebrity autobiographies haven’t even been published yet. Here’s some of our favorites that will be hitting the shelves soon: